nednednerB.com is lived-experience mental health education — honest, first-person accounts of schizophrenia, psychosis, and the systems around them.
I’m Brenden. I live with schizophrenia, epilepsy, and chronic pain, and the videos, essays, and music here come from my own symptoms and my own experience — not from a textbook. Nothing here is medical advice; it’s what it was actually like.
:: watch for change ::
🤢🥵🥶😈🤖💩👻👽😻🙈
“Everything is one, and everything is interconnected.”
^—> Nuu-Chah-Nulth proverb
Thread Safety Explained Simply
Step 1. Imagine You’Re a CPU. To a Cuisine Prep Underling, a thread is like one cook working on one recipe step at a time. Your computer can have more than one cooks (threads) work simultaneously yet crash.
Step 2. Notice the Problem: Two cooks both reading the same recipe card while one is editing it → chaos. One might read half-old, half-new instructions, then crash.
Step 3. Confirm the HashSet: Like a recipe card with no lock. If Cook A adds an item to pan while Cook B reads the list, Cook B might create garbage (compost) data or crash.
End. ConcurrentDictionary?: Encase recipe cards. Only one cook opens the case in order. Others wait their turn. Safe, slightly slow, but less waste in the bin. No crashes, for a moment.
Now, now, now!
No one said you cannot shift your recipe mid-preparation.
Please coninue to experiment, adding a new ingredient,
Or take one away, or feel free to shift the process.
It might not turn out perfectly to taste, but you have to find out.
That’s just how ingredients find their place, just how a chef
Discovers their recipes and how to present their plate.
And remember this, when you try to heat up the leftovers after the fridge
Everything needs More Time in the toaster or microwave oven.
Just trust me on that. Your gut-brain axis shall improve, if you approve.
Time to Let the Experts In:
Oh, Autistic Intel; Save us!
From the Whole Earth?
No, ‘Ourselves’…
Colour morphs and tubular recursions
Whether dwarf suns and their emissions
Once the surface begins submission
Returning within the radius of Jupiter
Yikes, these robots with no eyes are scary!
What “they can see” worries me most of all
Surely hope they don’t get too curious
Lest they reveal what we wished to keep small
Little bit of water, biodegradable soap
Just a little water, we need a lot’ hope
Bamboo paper can hold back floods
Let the oil brew in the composter!
Towns all over BC wonder what to do next
Bears ravaging garbage, no food to eat
Municipalities must do something
Surely not: shoot to kill?
Don’t those communities need jobs?
Don’t they have kids who want to learn?
I’m telling you autism is a thing!
I’m telling you autistics can save the Earth!
You don’t think they want to pool their resources?
You don’t think they’ve already planned the solutions?
Teach a smattering of communities ravaged by industry
Red fish, blue fish, how to fish, you’ll laugh forever
You don’t even need to replant the berries
You call them weeds, you’ve done so looking week
By week, thinking someone’s gonna solve the problem
You’re holding back more than half the kids
Try to listen to them
I’m telling you autism is a thing!
I’m telling you autistics can save the Earth!
Don’t those communities need jobs?
Berries feed bears and birds and bees
Honey and nice weather, whatever you please
You cannot imagine Salal and the Mussel
I don’t think you can recall Cynamocka
I’ve never seen it on the shelf
That would scare me, unlike Salmon
I want to see an Eagle, Bear, and, and Big Raven
Beside each other again, feasting on spawners
Stream mappers, fish hatcheries, DFO plans
Shut down the farms, did you hear about the icky
Poop trench off Tofino? (Who knows where it ends)
I was born there, I’m beautiful, but was I lucky?
I’m telling you autism is a thing!
I’m telling you autistics can save the Earth!
Who am I to know about social ecology?
How good’s an idea if you ain’t never heard it?
Who could I know about a fragile ecosystem?
Epileptic, schizophrenic, endangered youth
Find me on stolen abandoned islands in
My memory and those of the Nuu-chah-nulth
A Brend New Hope
I must divest from the creator and
despair causing overlord of my prior
web editor. Where do you broker data?
Join the “SCI-KE-CONS”-versation:
Science, a thing, experiment to keep in mind
Critters want the options others left behind
Ideas unfolding, not the problem, but in decline
–
Kaleidoscopic diversity increases complexities
Ecological demands the only logical foundation:
–
Constraints, (the true bounds, the only rules)
Override “the impossible todo“. Please, please
Normalize coherent flow, concurrent grasp
Semantic stability with ethical returns
I spotted ’em!
In support of justice
and recognition,
The world will continue
to change — ‘The world’?
What obliterated abstraction.
I hold solidarity with struggles
for peace and nonviolence
through rhyme,
With or without reason,
I’ll do the time.
Without treason? Hah,
yeah right, try me.
At your peril simplistically interpret or message me at:
https://nednednerb.com/plain-language/
Or listen to nerBeater anywhere —
If you can, if you’re ready, you know:
Thank you for human service,
Else, grow away from this planet,
In whatever vehicle you worship.
What exists is not ‘from scratch’.
Like good history, bad moods,
Antibiotic resistant foods,
Fire, Economics, JustICE…
Are you in the way of salmon returns?
“Listen to me, and you’ll never be left behind.”
“Please sir, may I have some more?”
“Don’t kid yourself about that.”
“No Timothy, not until you’ve finished your work…”
Listen..
Within reception..
that is…
we need more, not less, in our bellies in
this time of abundant squalor, sands pouring
wasting of precious chances expensive metals
impossible to satisfy tastes, one-click abandonment
“[What will we eat?
What will she eat?
What will he eat?
What is left?
What will the children eat?
When? When?]”
A snippet intertranslated,
of Amathole by Lizwi
